some things i learned about love

While up in Nephi for Christmas i learned a few things about that crazy little word called love:

1. how Rachael sees the word: if i understood right she saw that word used way too much as a kid from her family without as she put it "really meaning it," (ie.. love yah) and so she feels that the word should only be used when she truly feels it at that moment. it is not that she doesn't always love me she just feels an unspoken love is just as strong or stronger.

2. how i see the word: i rarely heard that word in my house an in the little times that it is used by my family is for reassurance that everything will be OK and i still love you even through the stumbles. so i like to hear it a lot more than most people cause if i don't hear it i get to my worrying ways and begin to thing something is wrong.

3. how it can make things worse: because of the aforementioned view of mine when Rachael is feeling down i feel a need to tell her that i love her to reassure. i think i am helping when in reality i am probably just reminding her of how the word can be thrown around and help nothing. so i am learning to tell her i love her by leaning up against her. and staying near her.

4. how Rachael shows it without saying it: i said this before but she holds my leg under the table and how good that makes me feel, but she does other things too. she apologizes for being angry when she does not need to, she thins of ways for both of us to get the blanket coverage we both want. she worries how much I like her gifts (she is a very good gift giver and i have yet to like any so far). these are just a few example of how she shows her love without having to say it.

fond memories of early comedic genius Alec Baldwin

so i forgot how completely hilarious this is for all those who love alec baldwin this is some of his early comedy entitled Schwetty Weiner

taking a break

I have been writing my papers for school constantly for the last four days and I am taking a break to listen to some some classic music. take the time to have a break and enjoy these classics like i did.

Dusty Springfield "Son of a Preacher Man"



Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird"



Pink Floyd "Wish you Where Here"



The Who "Babba O Riely"



Led Zeppelin "Stairway to Heaven"

an the ball has begun to roll

i must apologize for the next two weeks in advance. these will be soooooo busy i will be lost in my own little world of school.

list of things i am doing this week and next

1. rhetorical analysis paper on barrack obama's acceptance speech and presentation
2. 20 page communication research paper
3. sales meetings 4-5 with people who might want to buy advertising with our station (i hate hate sales)
4. Disney corporation financial strength paper and presentation
5. budget report television story and edit
6. rotary bowl brodcast saturday 8am-5pm
7. recording DJs for rotary bowl
8. finding music for rotary bowl game broadcast
9. record football practice
10. finish project for pre-production class
11. record last news show for DSC disclosure class

wow and more is adding. sorry once again if i disappear for a bit.

Chicago trip numero 2 never mind the misspells i suck at spelling

my trip to Chicago was cooooold and tiring

this is Rachael's pop Mr. Mickelson he paid for my plain ticket and he treats me like a part of the family. he is a very generous man he helps out anyone who needs and deserves it. just any of the number of people he has opened his house to.



I called him J.C. for most of this trip and it made me nervous. see i am used to just calling him sir but there were too many sirs there to get his attention when i needed it. and i needed it alot he let me do very important things this time like building part of the display even though i was unsure about myself but he was very good at letting me know i was doing just fine.

This is Omni Flux (yes that is his real name he had it leagaly changed and i didn't care to ask why) he was my partner in building things and was mo patient than myself he is cutting some part of the scenery i put together that was to be later moved to allow a tree in its place. we redid a lot of the stuff we built but for our first time we did alright i guess. oh yah he is another one of those people mr. Mickelson has opened his house too. he has lived with the family twice now.



this is Rachael's mom she is doing something i can't remember what but she did a lot of things that no one will notice, but they would have if they weren't done. just like a mom.



Rachael was her helper a lot of the time which can be boring just check out that bored look on her face. not really rachael is just full of funny faces. it is one of my favorite things about her.



the whole family is a funny face kinda family even her sister celeste, although in this pic the face is one of pain she has dust and wood in her eye. a perfect time for a photo opertunity. hehe



even the dad makes funny faces. sometimes i wounder if she learned it from him or if he learned it from her.



in the picture above they are stairing at what i have dubbed Mickelson Corner.
and Ta-Da here is that corner.




pretty cool huh it is a miniture of the place where the Chicago Bears' stadium and they did the planting around it. the whole family was there building. I was off under the instruction of Paula making other parts of the display "flowerific"

these are 2 places i decorated and that silver thing is a replica of a metal bean sculpture in Chicago not the tin man mooning you. which we did watch wizard of oz well the girls watched it twice i only saw it once.



let me go off on a rant about the wizard of oz that has bothered me as long as i can remember. when the scarecrow get hsi reward he says "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side." this is supposed to be hime getting brains and knowing the Pythagorean theorem but this is wrong it is a right triangle. ugh a stupid thing to be urked about but still annoying to me. ok back to chicago.



I consider this to be my trail. i made it as a thing to pass the time til paula or paula gave me my next task but noone noticed it and it stayed. so if you go to see the exhibit at the chicago botanical gardens and you see wood chips it was because i was bored. nowhere else is chips seen. sorry.

oh my goodness this is my newest favorite picture of Rachael. i said before she is full of faces and i just love this one. it is her "REAAAAAALLLLLLYYYY" face. she does it when i say something she is not sure of it is her way of asking me oh really huh?




oh yah this is just me tryin to fit into the funny face family. hope i didn't to bad.




more building stuff.



this picture is nothing too important but the guy on the left is Brian he had ot leave because his wife is gonna have a baby real real soon. we has a few poeple leave early but we still gone done a day before schedule hooray for us.



these are just some early pics of us (well mostly rachael and celeste) moving in the train tracks.



hey i was helping i was perserving the memories.



Rachaels even littler sister Heather came along this trip but she spen most of her time in the green houses poor girl she was soooo bored as the rest of us worked bor like 8-9 hours a day.



this is her (Heather) she is 10 or 8 or something like that.



more moving tracks and stuff



ahh the classic bryan and rachael trip pictures. rachael's face and me standing in the hotel room. now that's some awesome memories.






at the end i was tired but felt good about the work i did. i had fun and i got to spend time with the girl i love. so chigaco was pretty cool.

hope you enjoyed my story.

movies i want to see #2 or 3 i can't remember

YES






Monsters vs. aliens




Transporter 3



UP



The beautiful truth

My girlfriend and I made a video

get your mind out of the gutter. it was a video chat.

i discovered Google chat with video mail, and i had a video chat with my love. well i was on video and she discovered she had a hidden microphone on her lappy (i blame the CIA) talking to her always makes my day.

so that what its like to be on the winning side

another thing that makes me happy

Keb' Mo' is a blues musician that i have recently discovered and I can't stop listening to. here is a listen for you to enjoy.

i hope you enjoy this as much as i did.




Folsom Prison Blues






Dirty low down and bad






America the beautiful



and last but not least



Dangerous Mood

night and have a good "get rid of George Bush day" on Tuesday no matter how you vote.

watch it then read my down low blog.

hopeit makes at least a little more sense.

a fun new way to blog

i am going to play a song and just right to the song

try and guess the song

here we go.


what if everything is alright and that is the problem. i get nervous in comfortable situations.

this discussion has to start some where tradition says so.

things i hate

driving, the insides of cars,
talking to old lost friends,
being next in line
walking alone with out headphones

I'm finished with staring people in the eye just to make them feel better.

by the way i feel just fine

everything is ok

things i do when i am nervouse

bight my fingers,
checking the light switches
scratching my palms
doing math problems in my head that give me head aches

things i used to rely on

psychologist and trusted people to tell me who i am.

i have been known to still do that from time to time

some day I'll still be fine the future seems easier

and everything is still ok

sometimes i need a reason to finish a conversation so i make one up,
but lets not get carried away with this process.

i really am just fine

other than i can't sleep.


night night folks see you again soon this is when the guitar fades out.

despite this message my life is pretty great.

i got a person to love and who loves me.
a job i like
somethings to look forward to; Chicago graduation Christmas (not necessarily in that order).
and a good connection with my family.

my new favorite picture of myself

the little things

it is amazing how small things can brighten your whole day. a postcard from Rachael in France came to day and i have bee smiling ever since.

things that make me smile

NoFX "Man I Killed"

When they tightly strap me in, give me lethal injection,
Just a more few minutes to live, no remorse for what I did,
It was for the betterment of man, I gave the utmost sacrifice,
Before more damage could be done I took his life.

There was a split second of silence when the dart punctured the skin,
Beady eyes rolled back in head, the body dropped from the poison,
They could incapacitate me, but could not erase my sneer,
I heard a thousand people screaming, while three billion others cheered,
He was gone, and I would soon be...

Executed by the state, all appeals would be in vain,
I was not criminally insane, in fact, I was found to be,
An otherwise caring and respectable member of society,
A minor threat except for that one that I killed.

As the sedatives take effect, I just smile and close my eyes,
There's a priest kneeling next to me, he asked me if I realized,
I was going straight to hell, and he thought that I should know,
That the man I killed's replacement planned this whole scenario,
And what I did had no significance at all.

lately things that

Make me unhappy

1. lack of contact with Rachael. She is in Europe with Becky and Tess and with limited communicability. I read her blogs and her Google reader sharings but other than that no contact. i have emailed her a few time just saying hello but have got no hello in return i figure her blogs and shares a a hello but I still miss her, more than i thought I would.

2. My nightly bad dreams everything from wrecking my car, to losing a lot of money, to Rachael deciding to leave me, and many more. my nightmares are pretty common place but they usually are left in my slumber but lately i have started waking up quite abruptly from these an are unable to stop thinking about them til my alarm goes off.

3. Work is always stressful when it comes to the 15th time of the month it is payroll time and everyone seems to wait til the last moment to get me stuff than expect me to get it done before 5 pm on the 15th. ugg they have all month to get this stuff done why wait til now.

Make me happy

1. Animaniacs. this is a show i watched growing up they had fun songs that taught me stuff like the country names


the state capitals



and The presidents names



this is a good memory that has made me smile lately

1.Puppy flowers


2. NPR news and podcasts
ever since my tape player went kaputs in my car i have become a big fan of NPR and its shows with shows like all things considered and Car talk they keep me prett entertained with out music.

3. getting paid to do what i like. i have been shooting football games and other events with a camera and or being the audio engineer for these things. and i get about 75-100 dollars for each shoot so i like this work alot i hope my career is filled with this kind of stuff it makes me excited for my career.

4. Added is a great website Ralph Wiggum for president


I found this site while finding the date for the Simpsons season 11 dvd which came out and my cousin bought but i was asked to wait on buying which i am.

more of bryans random internet finds

this guy sings both parts

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Fun links that are my life right now

i am currently the General Manager of this streaming online station D-91 you can listen to it HERE tell me which songs suck and which one rock your socks.

My Girlfriend Rachael is in Europe right now so my link to her is at her blog

I am enjoying this little choose your destiny movie Survive the Outbreak it is like those books as a child if you want to enter the dungeon go to page 132 if you want to leave go to page 145.

This movie Trailer looks kinda kewl. who doesn't a vampire for a girlfriend?

I have recently gotten into the Duck tails once again and watching episodes on you tube


those are just a few links that took up my day today and will be a part of days to come hope you enjoy.

Me

I am feeling very lonely lately

google calander

I finally put up my school schedule and new work schedule

this is for anyone who loves the final countdown

please share this with everyone you know, especially rachael, becky, celeste and michael or anyone who loves "arrested developement"

I was doing the GOB magician poses all the way through.

It's the Final Cellodown!

oh my god i can't stop smilling

movies into books

some of my favorite books are turning into movies finally

first by Chuck Palahniuk’s (of fight club fame) book "Choke"



Radiohead is even doing the soundtrack for it. woot woot.

and another of chuck's books "survivor" is making its debut in the film genre.

randomly

i have begun to dig early november.

i know i am like 3-5 years too late but hate that is my style of workin it.


and this makes me happy



i don't know them but i love the fact that they made their own.

my new toy!!!!

I got a graphics tablet from my parents this birthday and i can't put it down.

12 X 9 inches and i have already done two preliminary drawings for a comic i want to start.

#1



a possible front room idea i think i need more wall in it but my very first pic drawn with my electronic pen

#2



a character side shot for reference purposes. i used the aforementioned (last blog) wooden figure that Rachael got me to get the body shape right.

it has begun remember very preliminary but comments would be ok.

b-day week

my birthday week is coming to an end and thank goodness. i hate my birthday weeks everyone like co-workers, strangers who find out, ect... being nice to you and it feels fake. and wondering what i got for my birthday feeling selfish. and then the party...... it just feels awkward being the center of attention.

this week was not soooo bad. i was able to avoid most of the unwanted attention. and i got attention form those i care about, ie Rachael. my birthday was pretty uneventful Bryan wise. i drove to Nephi and to go to Rachael's high school reunion (i know going to your girlfiends reunion on my birthday i do rock as a boyfriend some times) then drove back to SLC to work an 8 hour closing shift then drive home just in time to spend the last bit of my birthday watching the new netflix i got (a futurama disc).

before that day arrived i was pretty unexcited about that day but on my actual birthday i really enjoyed my day. Rachael woke me up which is my favorite was to awake, and she gave me two gifts: a drawing figure


and Muppets season 3 dvd.



then we went to her reunion which was ok pretty boring for me she seemed to like it or maybe just liking the idea that she survived it. i enjoyed it because i got to be there for Rachael and that always makes me happy (i believe that is a bit of that love thing everyone talks about and i feel towards Rachael). i love it when she leans on me and rubs my hands when she is worried. i love that i help her feel better even a little when she is nervous.

after her reunion i headed up to SLC for work but not before getting a load of drop/no-bake cookies


from the Mickelson family. they are already gone. at work i was able to keep my birthday a secret from most everyone strangely enough the aminimity made me happy.

all in all being with Rachael on my birthday is all i wanted out of that day and i got it so not a bad birthday.

oh yah and tonight i get lots of pie.

the joker,flogging molly, and old friends

the new Batman movie "Dark Night" came out this week and my old roommate Kent and I went to see it on Friday at a midnight showing. well 11:30 pm but no need for the semantics. we got out of the movie at 2:30 am. three hours long but I didn't notice notice. the movie was that good more plot twists than a German college film majors final project, but unlike the previously mentioned film batman's twists where exciting and fun. very good movie i would recommend it to anyone whose maturity level is over the age of 14.


i got to go see flogging molly last night and it was very fun. I decided to go by myself which is no big deal i have done it before. i was standing in line by myself when they split it between the men and women in two lines. unexpectedly when the lines formed next to me was an oooooollllldddd friend was next to me. kit. i have not seen her for over 5 years. we spent most of the time before the concert catching up and sharing memories with her friend whose name i can't remember. but during the concert i was lost in a see of pale redheads enjoying the irish music.

after the concert kit her friend and i wen to get coffee. well i got water and they got coffee. we talked about what we were up to now. i talked about college and rachael and my internship and she talked aobut her new found love of biking (it seems everyone i know is getting into biking. mitch, paul, john, and now kit).

it has been a good weekend. and now i am looking forward to spending a week in Nephi. i get to work with rachael. i did this last year and it was pretty fun.

most of all i am excited to to see rachael for a whole week.

update

I got to visit Rachael this weekend and Watch WALL E with her in salt lake here is a list ofmy favorite things about visiting Rachael.

1 I love when we eat together and she places her hand on my leg under the table it makes me feel soo loved.

2 Getting to see the new fishies in the pond i love listening to her talk to them you wouldn't think a fish could remember a persons voice but they do they know that when see say "Hello Fishies" it is time to come to the surface fro visiting and food.

3 Her Kittie, they have such a good relationship i always thought that a cat could never be trained and learn to follow commands but she has proved me wrong again. whatever Rachael tells Kittie to do she does it. follow me to the pond to go get you babies so we can see them. Kittie is such a good cat. enough to change this dog persons opinions on cats.

4 i love her waking me up the morning. she is so delicate and quite about it. waking up to her is the best wake up ever.

5 taking naps with her. laying next to Rachael is my favorite pastime at the moment.

6 the new "do you know your partner" books we got it is fun and they have very dificult questions but i love it when i know the answer.

ahh i love being with Rachael.

i am so lame i thought i had my schedual posted on my google calander for this week but duh i checked today and hadn't put up one thing.

i am so lame i put up my work schedule til monday.

now for today i go tto do something pretty fun for my intenrship. i got to tape and interview all the "Survivor" hopefuls it was a very strange day. i watched a lady play with a live chicken. a girl fall doing a summersault, a guy wrestle his wife, among other strange video moments.

my favorite was a 51 year old bartender she was very outgoin and i could see her on "Survivor."

radio ok computer for real

Big Ideas (don't get any) from James Houston on Vimeo.

my new spectacles

click for big picture

what a week

first off i got to see Rachael ALOT!!!! we went to a food show together which is always fun. i am not totally sure why they are fun but man they are. it could be cause a couple of reasons:

1. I am not really supposed to be there so it is a sneaky treat for me
2. there is lots of fun food for me to sample and then forget about
3. i get to hang out with Rachael * (i put a star by that one)
4. i get to learn more about the restaurant form both Rachael and JC (Rachael's dad)

it could be lots of reasons

second i got to spend the evening with Rachael, Her sis and Her bro watching "Captain Ron"



a past favorite of mine always makes me smile even made Rachael giggle a few times at stuff like this:


and i got to shoot my first promo that i wrote for the pops concert for the Days of 47 staring Sterling Poulson



and last night i went to a Wii party with my friend kent phew it was fun we played mario kart and when i showed up a kid was killing everyone so kent put me in a s a ringer (he told them that i was not a good gamer and had never played this game) hehehe i creamed him 5 games in a row and stopped his horrible trash talking that was annoying everyone.

and then the chalk art festival at the mall brought some unexpected delights this weekend along with a VERY BUSY starbucks.

this one reminded me of a graffiti style i like it alot

this one was just beautiful and i think it was a self portrait

woot woot it is the Indian Jones ahh good memories

this one is pretty and was right below starbucks so i watched it grow

this one was sooo good it looked like a portrait in the sun

can't have an event without Mickey Mouse

this one was very cool the figure was interesting

ahh Japanese style very life like well painting like not like actual waves

Who doesn't want a multi colored polar bear it is sooo emo




this one was cool cause she was doing this on her own with noone watching it is of the sign behind her hanging above the other photographer

holy crap that has to hurt

3 years

last night was fun i got to see friends i haven't seen in 3 years since i left for st. George. Timmy and Kent where my favorite we stayed up til 3 am remembering stories and telling everyone else at Kent's house.

the only soldier left behind last night was that i did not call Rachael like i had planned. i was just so rapped up in Timmy and Kent. I will call her today though.

right now i am trying to get a shift switched on Saturday so i can attend a wedding with Rachael on Saturday. it will be our second wedding together first Hyrum and now her friend lily (goodness i hope that is her name i am horrible with names).

that is all i got right now later my peeps.

kevin smith is not for the kiddies

Kevin smith of "Clerks," "Mallrats," "Chasing Amy," ect.... is coming out with a new movie and i am F*^ki%g exstatic.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

A good memory

me and Rachael went to the parade of homes and got all our stuff and headed out with only the addresses and are gusto. we found most of the houses we intended to, all the while saying how great a map would be or maybe something in a GPS system. when we finally decided to go ask for a map i was waiting in line to ask a question when i overhead the lady in the front of the line being told how to use her map inside the magazine she had gotten (we also got 2 magazines). to avoid the inevitable embarrassment i took Rachael by the arm and walked away. I told her about the map we had be complaining about not having while having one under our noses. hehe we laughed about this the rest of the day.

really personal stuff here, and long phew how long

i have lots of negative emotions right now most involving jealousy.

first you see i recently sold my motorcycle to my father and watched him drive away with it. i didn't think i would miss it too much but i do a little and something Rachael said made me sad that day but i didn't realize that was it til recentlier. she said she missed the sound of my motorcycle and for a strange reason that hit me a couple of ways neither of which i know she intended them. she would never say anything to hurt me she is so wonderful.

first it reminded me of how much i will miss that sound i really enjoyed the kind of pride that came with it. and secondly i remembered how "sexy" she once said (a while back, when i first got it) i was on it and i didn't want to give that up either. i got really jealous of my father and now john just got a motorcycle today, mitch is fixing his and yoshi (a friend form st. george) just picked his up.

stupid me i will get over it.

i had my motorcycle times i need to grow up and enjoy the adult car i have now the toyota prius, which i do love so very much, but there still is a part of me that wants to ride a motocycle now and again. if you never have you might not understand just how amazing and confident it can make you feel.

The rest of this is kinda personal but that is what blogs and journals are for i guess.

Personal stuff click to read if you want

so me and Rachael have been together for years now. our tentative anniversary of being together is coming up in August i don't think either of us knows and exact date or she does and i am just dumb, but we have actually broken up twice in our relationship. both of which we got back together, and our relationship is stringer because of it, thank goodness for that. she means the world to me, more important than Roman Noodles, popcorn, or any motorcycle combined (anyone who knows me know how big that is). she is on the top of my list, or pyramid (she made me an awesome upside down pyramid once i loved it).

anyhow i digress, during our first time apart she lived in nephi and we where still friends and she told me an old friend of our "zen" was coming to visit and in he had in a flirty way asked to cuddle with her, and this drove me nuts i hated the idea and i became sooo jealous. i hated "Zen" for it. nothing happened between the two of them and that is not the problem but i still for some reason resented "Zen" for this. i have this strong feeling of betrayal towards him and the situation. i know Rachael and i were not together at the time, but i felt really betrayed at the time and it has not gone away.

thankfully Rachael and my relationship is much stronger now i haven't gotten jealous like that since. i love the fact that she has guy and girl friends i have met some of her guy friend in Nephi and in St. George and i was glad she had these friendships. i mean i have female friends and i can't expect her to be cool with that if i am not in return. anyway in a long way i just said i have dealt with my jealousy issues (what little there was) and it is no longer a problem.

i had gotten past this "Zen" or so i thought and never thought about it for a long time, but he contacted me recently and told me he was going to be in SLC (which is where i am for the summer)and wanted to hang out. all the betrayal emotions came back i have these really strong emotions towards him i and fear i don't see him the same way i used to. i want to be his friend and be as close as we were but this stupid betrayal feeling keeps coming back.

the worst part of this is i am sure he has no idea i have never told him.

How do i get back to being friends?

finally this is why i hate being home it always takes me back to that neurotic child fearing all these irrational and unneeded fears. like right now i can't help feeling this blog will destroy my entire world somehow send everything i know into a horrible downward spiral. i have no idea how but that stupid obsessive compulsiveness is taking over again.

fun in almost any site

got to a webiste: lets say NETFLIX and once it has loaded paste this code


javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);



in the address box up top over the www.netflix thingy watch the screen goes crazy.

it works some other pages too it works really good in google image search. search for a picture say puppies than put the same code in the address box.

state of being too big for my room

Living back at home for less than 12 hours has made me appreciate how wonderful Rachael is i feel like such a guest. i feel out of place sitting in the front room that i spent nearly half of my life.

this is not my house i am merely unpacking my clothes and sleeping here until August 23rd ish i have never looked forward to the end of summer so much.

i only hope i become more comfortable here soon. right now i feel as uncomfortable as a fist in an un-inflated balloon.

on a better note i have begun enjoying the works of Oscar Wilde and i look forward reigniting my love of reading which always comes to me here in northern Utah.

they grow again

every once in a while i get a really nervous feeling which grows into complete negativity towards almost everything. i spend all day waiting for something terrible to happen in fear of the worst case scenario.

tonight was one of those once in a whiles

I hate this feeling, I hate how sudden it can come, I hate that it comes so unannounced, I hate how big it can and does grow, i hate how uncomfortable in my skin it makes me feel, i hate the fear of everyone staring at my and my socio-phobic disorder, I hate that i want a hug but the idea of touching most people makes my skin crawl, i wish this feeling on no one.

I think i really want the terrible thing to happen just to justify this enormous fear i can't explain.

how i licked my own eyeball and almost died

i decided to long board to work and back just for fun but it was a strange ride.

the ride there was relatively uneventful but coming home was a whole nuther story.

while passing the school my contact decided to make a run for it and leaped to freedom from the tower that is my face. i search all over around me it for about a minute when I realized I was wearing sun-glasses. hehe it was an inch from my face all along stuck to the lens. it had dried in the time it took me to discover it, and with me without water i had to lick it to get it moist so that it would stick to my eye to get moist from tears and other eye water. i put it in and felt the immediate pain of dirt on my lens de contact. i looked at my hand it was filthy from riding and carrying Rachael and My long board.

ahhhhh i ran to the school across the street and luckily despite the semester being over the first door i tried was unlocked. i bolted for the restroom where i put the contact in the shallow bowl created by the concaveness of my glasses and washed my hands. the next attempt at putting the contact in was a success except for the marks that my tongue had made by licking it where still there. don't worry the eye water got rid of them toot sweet.

so on my way home again. i passed by the ice cream shop and decided to give myself a treat i purchased a waffle cone with one scoop of strawberry shortcake on top of a scoop of banana split ice cream. as i boarded my way towards smiths i was getting ever closer to the banana split ice cream making my way though the strawberry.

one more bite and i got a great shock "duh dummy, banana splits have nuts on them so, so would the ice cream equivalent to. ahhhhhh again, well actually more of a agagaangngn with the swelling. thankfully by this time i was in the smiths parking lot and the medicine was merely a just 20 or so steps away. i got it down before any damage. i sat and rested at smiths til i had enough strength to start walking home but then.... hoorah my good friend Dave (well not really good friend i barely know him but at this moment he was my best friend cause he) drove me back hoem to where i sit now writing you of my epic tales of woe and excitement.

that my day so far i am going to go hang out with jon for a bit till the swelling goes away completely.

for those who are worriers and you know who you are. i am fine and will be ok i promise.

she is amazing

i am constantly amazed at how BRAVE Rachael is.

Being brave is not living in the absence of fear but

having fear but acting anyway.

i wish i could be up there to help her, to hold her and tell her she is doing good. she is doing sooo much and things that would scare me to death.

she is confronting a problem that is frightening and doing it bravely.

I love you Rachael

ah i am a creature of habit

CURSE YOU PAPA JOHNS AND YOU TASTY BUT ACID REFLUX INDUCING PIZZAS

i can always laugh

it is amazing how soon you can so hard you fall out of your chair.



if you don't get it. it is ok. it's a mariokart joke.

click on it for a full size version

my mouth is dry

I don't know how to feel about it.

i grew up with him. i grew up kind of idolizing him and now he's dead


I just found out that Wayne, a friend from Tooele just O.D. on drugs.

i keep crying but i can't justify the tears in my head they just aren't logical.

i don't know why i am writing this on a fucking blog I just can't seem to say

he's dead

out loud.

incase you didn't know

I have begun to enjoy the musician known as Le Calvin Harris

and here is two reason why

It was acceptable in the 80's

and

The Girls

can't embed sorry, but the songs are worth the traveling time to other links i promis.

Rachael

I think i loved you earlier than i wanted to admit. i feared unreciprocattion
I don't often feel as vulnerable as i do standing with you.
you can crush me or make my world glow with a single look.


I am in love with you Rachael thank you for being in love with me.


unreciprocattion

ah the mario brothers theme

and what an instrument a RC CAR!!!!



http://view.break.com/487616 - Watch more free videos

i really can be

sometimes i am more of a jealous of a person than i like i get protective of my relationships and weirded out by dumb things like complimenting other people.

it doesn't happen a lot rarely in fact but my green monster can rear its head now and then. (I usually don't tell anyone when this is happening)

new scrubs woot to the woot

more things i am digging

1. Death Cab for Cutie's "Marching Bands of Manhattan"



2. Not playing World of Warcraft: man i spent over 1 months playing that game. ONE MONTH sitting in front of my computer repeating the same actions over and over again. i have so much more time to go on walks, do laundry, art stuff, write a book (An Unwilling Man), and do homework.

3. Drumming on everything: i carry around drum sticks like i did when i was young i miss the feeling of keeping a beat to the worlds movements. i like to drum the walking of groups around me.

4. Me in a beenie: i felt really attractive today. it was cold so i wore a hoodie and a Green crochet beenie and I really felt good about how i looked.

5. counting the days til Rachael's visit. it gives me something to look forward to.

things i am digging right now.

1. thrice- man i still love those guys (i remember seeing them live for the first time and being just in awe of how good they where i had never heard them prior and i have been hooked ever since)


2. internship- i am looking into an internship for school and i hope i get one in slc for the summer so i can be nearer to Rachael or if i get one here i hope it is awesome times five. an internship has really began me thinking about my future career and what title i want to put behind of my name: Mr. Bryan Johnson ________________________er

3. ubuntu- it is an operating system that i have begun to like because my computer jsut melted on me the other one not this one (god i am a nerd)

4. quick internet - my has been slow so i am very annoyed lately.

what i noticed

I have noticed lately that i have began judging people very quickly lately. i must stop this it is keeping me from meeting some possibly interesting people.

i have also noticed that i need new music and a way to get it i have not gotten any new music in almost 4 months i am getting tired of a lot of the stuff i have. do if you know of a good way for me to get back in the MP3 game let me know.

i just found out today that Rachael will be coming down to visit.
This makes me smile a lot. even if just for a day i get to kiss and hung and just be with the woman i love.


i have become soooo swamped lately. i have 3 8-10 page papers due this semester along with 2 group projects, i have to set up my internship for the summer at some radio station doing promotions (which i don't want to do i don't like promotions but hey anything to finish school) , video shoots for my sports broadcasting class, and studying for finals.
every moment i am not at school or work is doing one of these things. my roomates have said that they haven't seen me in a week.

made me smile big today

why longboarding can cost you $90

Life lesson #2,330,001

If you are going to go long boarding make sure your comfy extra baggy jeans pockets can support the weight of your wallet.

i lost my wallet Thursday. I went long boarding and it fell out of my pockets. last time i try to exercise on my way to get a drink. so far i lost the $50.00 dollars in it and i half to get a new license $18.00 and i had to buy a new wallet $22.00.

stupid day.

but luckily Gogol Bordello was able to cheer me up hope it does the same for you.

Start wearing purple!!!!!




Not a Crime!!!!!!!!!



The
wanderlust king!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

movies i want to see

1. Wild Tigers I Have Known


2. The Host


3. Paprika

4. Sunshine

5. Rocket Science