wow what a sad day i bombed a midterm test with an awesomised 69%

so when i am sulking i like to buy stuff (unhealthy i know but it does the trick)

so here is a list of things i would like to buy but probable won't


A Watch that contains a USB flash drive both practical and super nerdy


A personal podcast center and software so the world can here my mindless ramblings


To complete my survival series i already have how to survive a zombie attack,


IT is a Control Alt Delete reference nerds get it trust me (god love the 3 finger salute)


Who doesn't want an Einstein shirt come on!!!

This shirt contains a device that reads the amount or strength of a wifi signal in the area and displays it by lighting up damn that is hott.



and it is soooo true despite my horrible test score today.


and finally rachael showed me this one oh happy day it is sooo cute



well that is a fun list of fun stuff to by hey the links are the link to buy it for me so if anyone gets all charitable and wants to cheer a fella up don't let me stop you

i love you all either way.

I spend most of my day in fear of other people. so much it can destroy possible friendships.

but with her there was no fear.

and still there is none.

I can hold her anywhere and feel safe where ever we are.






I can remember the first time she touched me. we where sitting across from each other at a booth in her kitchen (yes a booth she had an awesome table) and i felt her hand touch my leg. i can remember feeling strange because i didn't pull away.

ask anyone if touched i will jump away.

her hand felt good and at the time i could not figure out why but i didn't need to. we have touched countless times since and every time feels just as right as the first touch.

this random moment of tenderness is brought to you by my roommate watching "garden state" and me sitting down to watch it half way through

(side note garden state was one of the first movies she ever 'introduced' me to [she fell asleep half way through] thank you for that)

hahaha this used to be a D for dixie sate college but it was easily enough changed into a U much like the college itself.

wow i am dead tired today i went to school and did a radio show til 1pm practiced piano, stopped at work to try and plan a trip to see Rachael, played ultimate Frisbee, boxed on the Nintendo Wii, and did homework wow the fullest day i have had in a great while.

quick note from yesterday i ran into a girl who i had a crush on years back and all i could think about while we were catching up was how great it is to have Rachael so i have to never worry about what girls think of me. i just know that Rachael loves me and that is all i need and i would like to thank her for that.

i am dead tired i am goin to go fall into a coma until tomorrow morning.

night night.

nice use a fanagle

wow talk about a long time between blogs

i have been putting this off forever and i don't know why.

well i have been very down lately and don't know why. well i have an inkling of why. everyone around me seems to be down and being mean to each other. i just need one nice person.

i need Rachael. she is in Texas with her family. i am trying to fanagle a trip up to slc to see her and my family around October 11th. MY SIS HAD ANOTHER BABY!!!!

i got a Nintendo Wii (well another one the first one got stolen [bunch of savages in this town])

this is just an update i am planning on updating this thing more daily now that i have no reason not to. here is hoping for the best.

so in conclusion i am sad and surrounded by sad and angry people in a situation where i need someone who is all the way in texas (sending her a post card made me feel a little better). i miss me a few weeks ago.

write to you soon.

what is love:

love is the memory of the baby fish being seen for the first time with Rachael. it's remembering her face as she stared into the water. how happy it made her. i remember being more excited for her than for the baby fish. don't get me wrong i think the baby fish rocked but,

picturing her face as she watched them swim for the first time makes me smile.

as well as hearing the joy in her voice when she speaks of them.

thank god for baby fish.

i hope they all survive the winter.

my uberlameness

i can be sooo lame sometimes.

i let certain inane things bug me.

-being sweaty when i get to work
-feeling my cousins life is sooo much cooler than mine
-when Rachael doesn't say i love you back at the end of phone calls
-wondering whether or not i will be a good husband someday
-will i be breaking stuff forever in public (i am kinda dumb and break stuff a lot in public)

i get nervous alot for no reason.

sometimes i will just begin to worry about nothing that i can recognize and it will begin to steamroll into a stomach ache and even a headache all the way to vomiting.

all over a worry i can even identify.

i want to always be the Bryan that people love today but i want to also grow into a better person.